And there it is, the epic day that sits in infamy in the back of every guy’s mind.
So, I was asked a question: What does a guy think about all the wedding planning and everything that goes into the big day? I know it is a question that I think I have heard about a billion and a half times from my goofi [Ashley's note: Nickname...boo like ghetto name for boyfriend became boofi (adding the fi from fiance) after we got engaged...female version of boofi is goofi...don't judge, it was a joke that just kind of stuck ;)], so I guess I’ll get into it a little here...
Do you see those colors? I mean jeeze, how many colors do you know as a person? I know like maybe 10, but after listening to Ashley discuss the colors of clothes and the wedding, I might be able to say 20 or 25. Why in the world do you need to know that many colors? Then there are the places, which I might have an opinion about, but she keeps asking me – “What is your dream place?”. Then she gets frustrated with me when I don’t know what to tell her. I don’t have a dream place, hell I have been more places with her in the past 5 months than I have probably in my life. It’s one of those things that I really don’t care about. I tell you what I do care about when places come into the conversation and that is the honeymoon.
You know exactly what I am talking about. I want to get away from everything, from everyone, and go to a place with the love of my life that is exotic/foreign. Of course, the simplest of these ideas is the beach with gorgeous water tickling your toes and the breeze flinging tiny bits of sand into your eyes. Doesn’t have to be exactly, could be Rome or Paris, could be London or somewhere deep in the rolling hills of Ireland. Maybe even the mountain tops of the most neutral country in the world, Switzerland…
Another thing that I care about is the drinks served at the wedding. I don’t know about anyone else but my family likes to relax with a tall glass of bourbon highball, a toddy, or a tallboy or two. My fiance’s family does the same with the Boston Lagers and cheap pinot grigio or whatever is a cheap wine (not a wine connoisseur or anything). So without something to break the ice, as you will, we might have another Civil War on our hands, so drinks have to be an option, but not an open bar, because once again it could be war. Fortunately, that was something easily resolved for the most part.
But honestly, there is little left right? Wrong there is a ton left, but nothing that I have gotten into save for one more thing.
Okay, so there is very little I want as far as this is concerned, just pick a few people and be done, right? Jesus, how wrong that is. What about the people that didn’t get picked or the people that try to pick for you? I mean my sister’s boyfriend is a friend, but when my wedding party is concerned I didn’t think about him necessarily. Now my sister is going to be hounding my ear like those coastal gnats, which wouldn’t matter normally, but bothers me now because there are plenty of people that I would love to include and very little room. It’s like a clown car in how you want everyone in it, but in the end you feel uncomfortable watching all of them getting out of it for the show.
So, sadly and unfortunately, I have to play this silly game of politics. Then my grandmother throws me a loop and tells me she would really like to see my father as my best man. WTF? Where did this come from, my parents should be sitting together right?
I tell you what, let’s just do this type of wedding –
Easy as can be and her dad said he would come if I got kegs of good beer (so she can still have her father walk her down the aisle, got to cover my bases). I mean works for me, but you already know how she feels…
Anyways, in the end, there is little that can be done with the large gap in the day dreamy female version of wedding planning and the bored, please get this over with guy version of wedding planning. There will always be the excited girls gossiping around a table or over the phone about all of the planning and guys teasing one another about what they are going to miss in the single life.
Honestly, if I can get it through my goofi’s head, that as long as she is happy in her I Do, then my wedding day will be perfect, because I have found the one for me.
P.S. – Pray for me throughout the rest of the planning…haha